fiction and other writing

Archive for March, 2011

The Ring – Short Play

William: Good afternoon, I am William Pritchard, the proprietor of this establishment. How can I help you?
Tony: We’ve come to buy an engagement ring.
Tracy: Yes, a solitaire diamond with a little diamond either side.
William: Please come this way Madam, Sir.
Tracy: Oh that one’s beautiful; the one in the middle on the top row.
William: A very good choice if I may say so. I shall get it out so that you can try it on.
Tony: How much is it?
William: We always find it’s better to choose the ring without worrying about the price and then you’d be amazed at how it always turns out to be within the budget.
Tony: I want to know the price before she tries anything on. Is that clear? If you’re not willing to tell us the price now we’ll go to another shop.
William: Very well sir. The price of that ring is £2750.
Tony: I see. Actually Tracy I think the ring is a bit O.T.T. A stone that size will catch on everything.
Tracy: Do you think so Tony? I really like it.
William: What about this one madam? The central stone is embedded in platinum so that it won’t catch on anything.
Tracy: Yes, it’s very nice.
Tony: And it costs?
William: £2999,Sir.
Tony: £3000!
Tracy: It’s not quite £3000 Tony and don’t you think I’m worth it?
William: Perhaps I could get you both a glass of champagne while you decide.
Tracy: That would be lovely.
Tony: No thank you. We haven’t come here to drink.
Tracy: But it’ll make it a memorable occasion.
William: Quite right. A special occasion deserves to be celebrated. (Exits to get drinks.)
Tony: What are you thinking of? You know we can’t afford this.
Tracy: I’m sure they’ll have some sort of finance scheme available.
Tony: So you think we should saddle ourselves with debt for a ring. If we buy the house you’re after we’re going to have a massive mortgage as it is.
Tracy: Oh we’ll cope. An engagement ring is for life.
Tony: We need to leave. This is not what we agreed. We said a maximum of £350.
Tracy: We can’t leave. He’s getting us a drink.
Tony: So for a glass of champagne you’re prepared to lumber us with £3000 worth of debt.
Tracy: P L E A S E Tony.
William: Your drinks Sir, Madam.
Tony: I don’t want a drink. I’m off. (Walks away, but pauses further down the shop.)
Tracy: I’m so sorry. How embarrassing.
William: Do have the drink with my compliments.
Tracy: Are you sure? Thanks. Oh it tickles.
Tony (shouts): These rings here – what sort of price are they?
William: (Walking down the shop.) These rings are what we call dress rings, Sir. They are made with 9 carat gold and the stone is cubic zirconia
Tracy: Darling I really like the solitaire one we looked at first and it’s much cheaper than the second one we looked at.(Picking up William’s glass.)
Tony: It’s not a solitaire. Solitaire means one diamond. That one has three. You’re not having it. How much are these? How much is that one there? (Pointing at a solitaire ring.)
William: That one sir is actually a diamond and it’s £450.
Tony: That’s what I’m offering to buy Tracy. It’s still more than we agreed, but we could manage that. Take it or leave it.
Tracy: But it’s such a titchy witchy diamond.
William: Would you like to try it on, Madam?
Tracy: Not really. I like the other one.
William: Madam has very good taste.
Tracy: Well, can I have it or not? It’s the one I want and if you loved me you’d buy it for me.
Tony: Sorry Tracy, I’m just not buying it.
Tracy: You just don’t love me enough. We’re through. (Rushes out of the shop.)
Tony: I’m sorry Mr Pritchard for wasting your time. If I’m honest I’ve been having some doubts. I don’t remember proposing and this romance has sped along at such a speed.
William: Don’t you worry about it sir. She’s tried this with three blokes in the past six months. One day some mug will buy it for her. In the meantime I’ve opened a cheap bottle of sparkling wine. Fancy a glass? You’ve had a narrow escape.

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